ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
