I met the friendliest cop last night
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
