How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
