We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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