i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
