You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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