you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
