The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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