i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i think i have two assholes
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
