the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
