dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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