Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
