Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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