she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
