giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
