Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it was like eating out sand paper
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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