in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
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