just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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