We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
