I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
