just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
