Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
