Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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