God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
