Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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