Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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