Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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