and you said cock pushups were impossible
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The air was thick with penises
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
