He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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