this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
