they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Couch. On fire.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
