some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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