he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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