I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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