Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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