Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
