The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
