Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
