Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
