Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
