everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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