I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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