I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
