that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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