So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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