"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
