The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
