I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just googled if crying burns calories
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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