tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
