i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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