That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
