Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
