You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
