I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Randomize
