no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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