So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
