I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
