I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
