I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
