I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
